You get the feeling that people don’t have a good opinion of you. Or, you don’t know what people think of you. Or, you don’t have really good relationships that you can count on. Or, you don’t feel that you’re a smooth, dynamic, charming speaker or conversationalist that people are attracted to.
I know it sounds simple, but this is really the key to developing good relationships. It is so easy to do. The hard part is swallowing your pride.
Say ‘thank you’ often. And mean it.
When you say ‘thank you’ to another person you are recognizing their contribution, you are saying that they provided something valuable to you and others. You are humbling yourself because you are saying that you needed whatever they provided. You might even be saying that they produced something better than what you could have produced.
Think deeply about the reasons why you wouldn’t say ‘thank you’ to someone and you’ll find that it is rooted in selfishness and pride. Even if you didn’t think whatever they did was very useful, you can always learn something, maybe even how not to do it. So the person should be thanked for their efforts.
Showing appreciation not only makes the recipient feel good, but it shows that you were paying attention, especially if you’re specific about what you liked. So be specific. It will help them do that part more.
And it’s easy. Especially in online transactions. You can say it in emails, comments, and other various online discussions. It spreads goodwill and builds your reputation as someone people like, because you’re always making people feel good.
So don’t worry about being a charming, dynamic personality. Just be thankful and appreciative, and show it, and people will be drawn to you. You’ll have more friends.
And real friends are exactly what you need out there in the tough corporate world.